


Always and Never

by ArturoSavinni



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Friendship, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-08
Updated: 2016-03-08
Packaged: 2018-05-25 15:09:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 19,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6199843
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArturoSavinni/pseuds/ArturoSavinni
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Oikawa had made friends with a boy whose world had just crashed down around him. He does his best to pick up the pieces.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Godzilla was in the midst of storming through another city, growling furiously as he stepped on a stray car. The car’s alarm blared throughout the air nearly drowning out the screaming citizens that ran through the streets. Still, the large creature continued on its destructive path, not minding as it knocked over lamp post after lamp post. Suddenly, Godzilla’s path was obstructed. He let out an angry roar before charging forth.

A blocky robotic dog with strangely floppy ears stood at the other end of the street. It moved toward Godzilla, beeping wildly as it clunked headfirst into the terrifying beast.

_“Hajime.”_

The dog was no match for Godzilla. He simply whipped his mighty tail and knocked the dog into the nearest building. Godzilla advanced on the dog who was whirring pathetically as it struggled to right itself. One giant clawed foot was readying to put an end to its enemy.

_“Hajime!”_

At the last moment the robotic dog was saved. A small hand dropped Godzilla onto the floor, making the plush toy bounce against the tatami mats. Hajime stood up quickly and ran out of his room. “Coming!”

“There you are. I’ve been calling you for over five minutes,” his mother admonished him as she looked over his person. She frowned in disapproval. Hajime shuffled guiltily, averting his gaze. His clothes were marred with dirt, paint and grass. A bandage rested loosely on his cheek, ready to fall off completely despite the fact it was only applied that afternoon. “I thought I told you to change?” She clicked her tongue. “Really, a girl wouldn’t get so messy,” she muttered to herself as she ushered Hajime towards a familiar corner of the house. This made Hajime pout at once. He was going to change! He just got distracted, that’s all.

“Look, Hajime, I want you to stay here until your father gets home okay?” His mother sighed, her lips pursing as though she was preparing for something difficult. Hajime’s eyes widened in alarm. His dad usually didn’t get home until after dinner. That was hours away! Was he not going to get a snack? He wished he had changed promptly after all.

His mother sighed again, kneeling down in front of him. She stroked his face gently. “You can sit, but don’t leave from this spot. You understand?”

“I’m sorry,” he cried out. “Can’t I just change now Mama?”

“That’s...” She shook her head, letting her hands fall over his small shoulders. “That isn’t why I want you here.” After a long, pensive moment she continued, “I need you to stay here so that you don’t get into mischief. I’m leaving.”

Hajime furrowed his brows, confused. “Leaving where? When will you be back?” She never left that long before. He was unable to grasp why he needed to stay in the time-out corner if he wasn’t in trouble.

“Listen, Hajime, I’m not—I’m not coming back. You’re almost five right?” She wore a strained smile and her hands tightened momentarily over his shoulders. “That means you’re a big boy,” she said, glancing around as though she itched to simply run away instead. Hajime looked towards the foyer, spotting a few packed bags waiting there.

“You’re going because I’m a big boy?”

She chuckled and shook her head. “No, no that’s not quite what I mean. I’m not fit for life here Hajime. Raising you, having a family like this... you— this wasn’t what I wanted. Just. Just stay here until Dad gets back okay?” When Hajime nodded, she stood and walked toward her awaiting bags.

“Remember to stay there.” She walked out the door without looking back, leaving Hajime to wonder what he did wrong.

Later, long after Hajime had gotten tired of standing, he sat on the floor. He curled into himself, waiting for his father who had indeed not gotten home until after dinner time. Hajime nearly leapt from his spot before remembering he should stay put until his dad was a little further into the house.

A few minor curses later, the lights suddenly switched on. “Hello? Ah, Hajime? What are you doing here in the dark? Where’s Mom?”

“Gone.” Hajime’s lower lip wobbled.

“Gone?” His father blinked, frowning as he walked closer. He noticed Hajime’s red puffy eyes, tear tracks stained his face and his continuous sniffling, tell tale signs that Hajime had been crying. “What do you mean? How long have you been here all alone?”

“She told me to stay here until you got back,” Hajime said instead, finally vaulting into his father’s arms.

“Whoa— hey, it’s okay. I’ve got you.” Hajime was pulled tighter into his father’s comforting arms and lifted completely from the floor. The tears he had quelled came back in full force, making him sob wretchedly against his father. “It’s all right Hajime. I’m here.”


	2. Kindergarten

Tooru draped himself over his best friend in the whole wide world, Iwa-chan! He tried to call him by his given name at first, complaining that Iwaizumi was way too hard to say, but the other boy refused. They settled on Iwa-chan after that. “Do you see them yet?”

“No...” Iwaizumi shook his head; his hair tickled Tooru’s nose. “Ah wait, isn’t that your mom?”

“It is!” Tooru jumped off of Iwaizumi and went to grab his backpack. “So where’s yours? I don’t see her.”

Iwaizumi frowned, turning his gaze downward. He got up slowly, moving to walk with Tooru to greet his mother. He tugged at the lapels of his backpack. “She won’t come no more. My dad is coming.”

“Eh, your dad?” Tooru tilted his head, his eyes wide and confused. Truthfully he had only met Iwaizumi’s mother once before. They had yet to work up the courage to ask their parents if they could meet outside of school. Half a day just wasn’t enough time to spend with your best friend in the whole wide world! “Is that why you missed two days?”

“I... I guess,” Iwaizumi mumbled. “She left.”

“Left?” Tooru blinked. “Left where?” He couldn’t fathom where a mother could go that meant she could longer pick up her son from kindergarten. “When’s she coming back?”

Iwaizumi shook his head while Tooru’s mother stopped to chat with their teacher. “She’s not. She doesn’t want me anymore.” At that admission Iwaizumi’s lips began to quiver. He looked to be on the verge of tears, alarming Tooru.

“I-Iwa-chan!”

However before he could say anything else or ask anymore questions, Iwaizumi pointed out his dad. This seemed to have brightened him somewhat thankfully. “Dad!” Iwaizumi bolted from his spot, launching himself into the air for his father to catch him.

Tooru’s mother finally reached his side. She smiled warmly at Iwaizumi and his dad. “Ah, you’re Hajime-kun’s father?”

“Er, ah, yes. Hello.” The elder Iwaizumi inclined his head politely. “Iwaizumi Toshiro. Um, I’m sorry... I don’t know...?”

“Oh, yes, Oikawa Ayame.” She finished the introduction with a bow of her own. “This is my youngest son Tooru. It seems they are in the same class and have become friends.”

“Best friends,” Tooru piped up, looking at his mom and then at Toshiro to make sure he understood the difference.

“Ah, right, best friends.” She chuckled and pet Tooru’s head head gently. “I believe I’ve met your wife before,” she continued, “I think they’re wanting to visit one another’s houses though they haven’t asked yet.” Her expression turned wry.

Tooru tugged at his mother’s skirt. “You gotta ask Iwai... Iwa... i... Iwa-san Mama. Iwa-chan’s mom left.” His mother’s eyes widened in shock and she glanced down at Tooru before looking across to Toshiro whose face had reddened slightly. “Mama did you hear me?”

“Yes Tooru I did. Um, sorry, he can be a bit...”

“No, it’s okay.” Toshiro wore a strained smile. “Guess you told your friend huh Hajime? Well, yes it’s just me and him now. It’s uh been a bit hectic lately. I’ve been trying to find someone for after school and all...” He laughed dejectedly, pulling his son closer. “Thankfully my boss has been understanding. He’s allowing me to bring Hajime into work for now.”

“Oh! So you’re going back to work,” she asked, not masking her surprise at all.

“Yeah, lunch time you know. Ah, speaking of which I really should be getting back. You got everything Hajime?” After a nod of assent Toshiro adjusted his hold on his son, nodding to Tooru and his mother. “Was nice meeting you Oikawa-san, Tooru-kun,” he said before he turned around and hurried off.

Tooru’s mother looked down when she felt the insistent tug once more upon her skirt. “Mama he didn’t answer.”

“Ah, Tooru, I don’t think it’s a good time right now. We’ll ask again another day okay?” She smiled sadly down at him, holding his hand as they walked toward their car. Tooru pouted the whole way home, unable to grasp why he had to wait.

~0~

Tooru bounced excitedly as he waited at the genken for his guest. Iwaizumi was finally able to visit. He needed to go home to change first but then his sitter was bringing him straight over. It took awhile for Iwaizumi to be able to come over to his house, which Tooru hadn’t liked one bit. His Mom explained that things were very busy for the Iwaizumis at the moment and that he should be patient.

Well he didn’t have to wait much longer because Iwaizumi now lived much closer to his house. Before he lived somewhere that wasn’t within walking distance to his house, and since his sitter didn’t drive Iwaizumi was unable to visit. Now though, Iwaizumi lived only a block and a half away.

While Tooru hopped from foot to foot his Mom was busy getting snacks ready. Suddenly there was a knock. “I’ll get it!” Tooru ran to the door, nearly tripping on the mat. He swung the door open. “Iwa-chan! Noa-san.”

Iwaizumi stepped inside. He bowed to his sitter, thanking her for walking him before he bid her goodbye. Tooru barely gave him time to take his shoes off before he was dragged further into the house. “W-wait Oikawa!” Iwaizumi huffed, managing to kick them off just in time. “A-ah, um pardon the intrusion,” he said as they ran into Tooru’s mother. “T-thank-you for having me,” he finished after bowing.

“My, my, so polite! Well come on. Your snacks are ready.”

They devoured their snacks in no time at all, barely leaving a crumb on either of their plates. “Thank-you Mama.”

“Thank-you Oikawa-san.”

“Ah, just Auntie is fine Hajime-kun,” she said, tapping him lightly on the nose. Tooru made a disgruntled face on his behalf before he turned to grab Iwaizumi’s wrist, dragging him along to his room.

“Come on, you can finally see my new toy,” Tooru said, continuing to pull Iwaizumi down the hall. Unfortunately before they could get into his room his sister suddenly blocked the way. “E-eh... Nee-chan.”

His sister grinned as she looked down at them. “Don’t tell me this is the infamous Iwa-chan?” When Tooru simply puffed out his cheeks, glaring petulantly, she laughed. “I’m Tooru’s older sister Asami.”

“Iwaizumi Hajime.”

“Ah! Hajime-kun.” At that Iwaizumi blushed and nodded. Tooru meanwhile was doing his level best to break past his sister. “Why so quick to run to your room Tooru?” Asami chuckled, a mischievous glint in her eye.

Tooru served her with a hard glare. She remained wholly unruffled. Just as he was about to come up with a smart reply, another door opened which made him groan instead. “Oh noooo...”

“What’s with all the noise? Oh... what’s this now?” A teenaged boy who looked a striking lot like Tooru stepped into the hall. “Ah, friend over,” he asked and stood behind Asami, towering over her as he peered down at everyone.

“It’s Iwa-chan,” Asami said lightly.

Iwaizumi furrowed his brows slightly, glancing at Tooru whose face had gone completely red. He appeared to be on the cusp of throwing a tantrum. “Annoying!” Tooru stomped his foot, then stepped purposefully over Asami’s leg that blocked his way. “Iwa-chan came to play with me!”

“Well at least let Nii-chan introduce himself first Tooru.” Asami chuckled, poking him pointedly on the forehead.

Tooru halted just as he finally managed to get past his sister. Iwaizumi still stood on the other side of her. His arm was in the air thanks to Tooru’s tight grip around his wrist.

“Yeah you shouldn’t be so rude Tooru.”

Nonplussed, Tooru stuck out his tongue at his brother. “Fine. Iwa-chan, this is my dumb older brother Takeo,” he said as Asami at last stepped out of the way for Iwaizumi to get by.

“Er, Iwaizumi Hajime.”

“Oh so that’s your full name,” Takeo replied before he turned to Tooru who had become nervous. “By the way did you just call me your ‘dumb older brother’?” Tooru blanched, letting go of Iwaizumi’s wrist and bolted for his room. Takeo, with his long legs caught him easily however and began a relentless tickle attack. “You take that back.”

Tooru squealed, doing his best to get away but it was fruitless. “Fine,” he shouted. “Nii-chan is very cool,” he whined as he was finally settled back down onto his own two feet. Iwaizumi watched on in amusement. He finally moved closer.

“It was nice to meet you both,” Iwaizumi said, bowing to both siblings once more. Tooru managed to tug him into his room at last.

~0~

“Tooru.” Mama knocked gently on his door. She stepped into his bedroom. When he looked up inquiringly she smiled. “You’re going to be staying over at Hajime-kun’s tonight.”

“Eh? Really?!” Tooru quickly scrambled up off the floor, nearly tripping over one of his toys. He gasped, rushing to his closet and slid open the door making it clank noisily. “Then I need to pack right? Ahh... what do I need...”

His mom laughed and helped him gather everything he needed. Once his sleepover bag was stuffed full, she informed him that they were going to get some snacks first. This was because it was their first sleepover and he ought to bring something nice. Tooru was absolutely thrilled. He could barely sit still during the ride. He was just as impatient at the store, almost running off on his mother before she tugged him back by his collar. “Tooru slow down.”

“But Mama I want the full night with Iwa-chan,” Tooru said, grabbing a couple pieces of milk bread. When his mom grabbed some other snacks for Iwaizumi he quickly stopped her, shaking his head. “No not those ones!” He hurried down the aisle and pointed to snack bags that had a Godzilla mascot that appeared to tear through the wrapping. “He likes G’zilla Mama.”

“Oh I see.” She smiled. “Well, then how about this one too? It says it comes with a prize?”

Tooru’s eyes lit up and he nodded frantically. “Yes!”

“All right let’s go pay for these.”

When they reached the counter Tooru insisted that he get to hand the money over to the clerk. He beamed proudly as he was handed the bag of snacks. Filled with joy, he skipped all the way back to their car, humming all the while.

He was told to slow down again once they parked because in his haste he had forgotten his sleepover bag, grabbing only the one filled with snacks. It was with stumbling steps that he finally reached the door and knocked loudly. He was practically vibrating by the time door opened. Noa was the one who answered it. She smiled at both Tooru and his mother before letting them step inside.

Tooru slipped off his shoes, locking his eyes on Iwaizumi. Before he could take a step forward, Iwaizumi’s arms were wrapped around him. Surprised, Tooru took a moment to return the hug. He patted Iwaizumi gently on the back. Iwaizumi didn’t seem to want to let go. This made Tooru confused. Iwaizumi wasn’t usually very clingy. However Tooru continued to hold him back all the same. When Iwaizumi finally released him he wore a bright smile and then turned to properly greet Tooru’s mother. She nudged Tooru for forgetting his manners.

“Ah! Um, please take care of me!”

Iwaizumi laughed. He gestured for Tooru to follow him to his room, leaving Noa to bid Tooru’s mother goodbye. His futon was rolled up out of the way, making room for an army of toys to litter the floor.

Noa came to knock on the door a few minutes later. She brought Tooru his sleepover bag. “Wah, thank-you!”

“Geez you forget everything.” Iwaizumi shook his head.

“Do not,” Tooru griped, sticking out his tongue.

The two bickered for a bit before Noa suggested that they watch a movie so they could have the snacks Tooru brought with him. Both boys nodded in agreement, nearly bolting out of the room. However Noa said they were to have their bath and change into their pyjamas first.

Once they were all clean and relaxed, they were about to settle into the living room when Tooru suggested they build a fort first. Noa appeared wary to the idea at first until Iwaizumi insisted that they would be sure to clean it up properly afterwards. It was a bit of a hassle to get the bedsheets to stay up, but eventually they got everything to stay in place.

It took a few long minutes for everyone to decide on a movie to watch though. However, once decided they were quick to settle in and dig into their treats. When Iwaizumi opened the snack that contained the prize he nearly knocked Tooru over with his happiness about it. Tooru simply beamed brightly back at him. “Mama picked that one ‘cause I told her you like G’zilla,” he said proudly.

Later, after the moved finished, they got to play for awhile, only stopping when Noa insisted it was time for bed. Tooru was ready to roll out the futons in Iwaizumi’s room, but when he turned to step into said room he was tugged further down the hall to the master bedroom instead. “Eh... I thought the other room is yours?”

“I want to sleep in here.” Iwaizumi frowned, pulling Tooru into his father’s bedroom. He turned on the light.

“Is it really okay,” Tooru asked, wary. He looked around the room, noticing that the bedspread appeared to be rather rumpled already. “W-what about—”

“Well you can sleep in my room if you want, but I’m sleeping in here,” Iwaizumi said resolutely. He crossed his arms. “Noa already said I could.”

“Eh, no! It’s a sleepover; it has to be together,” Tooru whined and then flopped down onto the mattress. “Wah it’s big enough for both of us!” He rolled around, making a further mess of the blankets before Iwaizumi joined him.

“Dummy quit taking all the blankets,” Iwaizumi groused, tugging some for himself as he climbed into the bed. Tooru nearly rolled off the mattress, squeaking while he flailed his arms wildly around before he managed to right himself. Iwaizumi hadn’t helped him at all and instead was bent over in laughter.

“Not funny Iwa-chan!” Tooru pouted, trying to take some of the blankets back.

Though it took them awhile to properly settle into the bed, when they did they faced each other. “Hey Iwa-chan, where’s your dad going to sleep,” Tooru asked as Iwaizumi fiddled with the remote to dim the lights.

Several seconds ticked by, Iwaizumi tensing before he answered. “He had to stay at work.”

“Oh,” Tooru said quietly. He reached out to grab Iwaizumi’s hand, smiling softly. His smile was returned in kind.

When they eventually fell asleep, their limbs might have painfully intercrossed once or twice, but it was an otherwise peaceful slumber for them both. Their hands miraculously remained clasped together throughout the night.

 


	3. Chapter 3

“Wah, we didn’t beat the rain at all!” Tooru lamented, peeling off his coat. “Our umbrellas were useless too!”

“Ah, well it’s the rainy season,” Iwaizumi replied, taking off his own shoes and coat.

“Really you two, come on.” Takeo sighed. At Tooru’s insistence, he had walked him over to pick up Iwaizumi despite the threat of rain. Initially Tooru was going to walk there himself since he was going to be eight next month (he was going to catch up to Iwa-chan!). That meant he was old enough to walk a block and a half alone. He already walked to and from school on his own. Okay, so he met with Iwaizumi on his way there, but his point still stood. However he stopped himself at the door when his mother’s earlier words drifted to the forefront of his mind. She told him that if he needed anything he was to ask Takeo.

Unfortunately Takeo was extremely busy these days. He was in his final year of university. So he ignored Tooru for nearly twenty minutes before he finally gave in, if only to get him to shut up. It would have been easier to ask Asami but she was out with friends herself.

Since Takeo was in such a foul mood Tooru and Iwaizumi quickly bolted to the former’s room. It took no time at all for their playing to get loud and riotous. In fact they hadn’t even stuck to staying in Tooru’s room. They were running throughout the entire house, sounding like an entire herd of buffalo trampling through the prairie. Despite being told off by Takeo more than once both boys were quick to succumb to their playful mood again and again.

Iwaizumi was running back down the hall, Tooru fast on his heels when there was a sudden collision. They had run into Takeo who had been in the midst of bringing a diorama to the kitchen to dry. It laid in pieces on the floor as all three got to their feet.

“U-um, sorry,” Iwaizumi said, shuffling sheepishly. He went unheard. Takeo was busy cursing to himself.

“Ugh! Like it wasn’t hard enough to concentrate with you two hollering and running around everywhere, now this!” He tugged at his hair in frustration. “I have to start all over! It’s not going to be the same.”

“Nii-chan, we’re really so—”

“Time out,” Takeo yelled, his face going red.

Tooru shifted his gaze immediately to Iwaizumi. He found him stiffened, his eyes wide with fear. “A-ah, wait, Nii-chan I don’t think—”

“Quiet Tooru,” Takeo snapped. “Come on, both of you.” Takeo took them both by their wrists, leading them to the living room. “Go on, Tooru in that corner. Hajime, over here.”

Iwaizumi moved robotically. His gaze remained firmly on the ground. Tooru tried to reason with his brother again. “Nii-chan isn’t there some other puni—”

“Quiet. Tooru.” Takeo drew in a deep breath as he exited the living room. He stopped out in the hall. “You aren’t to move until I say you can,” he said with a tone of finality, stomping back to his own room.

When Tooru looked across the room Iwaizumi had slumped against the wall. The panic was still written all over his face. “Iwa-chan... Iwa-chan it’s okay.” Iwaizumi however didn’t seem to have heard him. Instead he’d gone ghostly pale and began to shake. “Iwa-chan... Hajime-chan, you’re not alone. I’m still here.” Tooru’s voice rose a little, attempting to get Iwaizumi to look at him. Instead tears rolled down Iwaizumi’s face.

It was fruitless. Fifteen minutes later Takeo called to say that they could move. Tooru had not moved until then, not wanting to get into further trouble. He raced to Iwaizumi, grabbing his hands. “Iwa-chan. Look, I’m here. See?”

When Iwaizumi blinked his eyes were still filled with silent tears but he appeared to have come back to the present. Tooru greeted him again, this time with a bright smile. “See, didn’t leave,” he said gently.

“I want to go home,” Iwaizumi said, gripping tightly onto Tooru’s hands.

“O-oh... um, well m-maybe — I guess we can phone Noa-san? She’s still at your house right?” Iwaizumi nodded. Tooru released one hand, but kept the other clasped with his as he lead Iwaizumi to the phone.

 

A couple weeks after that day Tooru was busy putting up a new volleyball poster in his room when Asami plopped down on the floor. “You’ve certainly taken a liking to the sport haven’t you?”

“Of course he has. He’s taking after the better sibling,” Takeo said as he came to lean against the doorframe.

Asami wrinkled her nose and sniffed derisively, picking up one of Tooru’s stuffed toys to idly play with. “Sure.” She rolled her eyes. “Say Tooru, where’s Hajime-kun been anyway? He hasn’t been over in ages,” she drawled the last word for emphasis.

“He won’t come anymore,” Tooru said, having finally finished putting up his poster. He turned around properly.

“Eh? Why? You two have a fight or something?”

“No...”

“That’s not very convincing,” Takeo said, stepping into the room. He was curious now too. “What happened?”

Tooru frowned, fidgeting before he shook his head. “No, he’s just not coming okay!”

“Whoa, hey...” Asami sat up straighter, more alert. “Is it really okay? I thought Hajime-kun was your best friend in the whole wide world,” She said, unable to keep the wry smile from her lips.

“He is,” Tooru said, peeved. He crossed his arms, turning to glare at his brother. “It’s Nii-chan’s fault!”

Takeo baulked. “What, how?!”

At that Tooru worried at his bottom lip before he continued, slowly. “You put him in timeout. Iwa-chan hates timeouts.”

“Well you’re not really supposed to like timeouts.” Takeo frowned, unsure of the point Tooru was getting at. “Besides, it’s not like I’m upset anymore.”

“No, I mean— I mean they scare him.” Tooru pursed his lips, thinking of how to continue since both of his siblings remained confused. Though they both looked at him with widened eyes, slightly taken aback at the information he’d provided. “His mom put him in timeout when she left and... and he was home all by himself till his dad got home,” Tooru finished, finding the proper words to explain.

Takeo’s expression quickly fell. He was hit in the arm by Asami. “Ow!” He rubbed at his arm. “How was I supposed to know,” he asked but looked extremely guilty all the same.

“Tooru, is Hajime-kun home now,” Asami asked, serving her older brother with a glare before she turned back to Tooru.

“Um, well he should be?” Tooru tilted his head, blinking and looking rather confused.

“All right, well phone him and see if you can go over.”

Tooru’s eyes widened in surprise. “Like right now?” Asami nodded. “Wah okay!” He ran out of his room.

“Oh, but we’ll have to stop somewhere else first before we bring you,” Asami said.

At that Tooru halted. “You’re both coming?”

“Yes. Nii-chan is going to apologise,” she answered matter-of-factly. When Takeo simply nodded Tooru continued on his way to make the phone call.

He returned to his room to give them the okay. The three of them left at once. Though as Asami said they stopped somewhere else first. She insisted that Takeo bring a gift for Iwaizumi so that he could properly see that Takeo wasn’t mad at him.

Tooru helped Takeo pick a gift. He urged Takeo into getting Iwaizumi a Godzilla keychain for his bag, stating that he had been wanting it earlier.

The walk after that was quick. It was more of a run with Tooru’s excitement. He was several steps ahead of both of his siblings when he knocked on the Iwaizumis’ door. “Iwa-chan!” He rocked happily on his heels as said boy answered the door.

“Oikawa. A-ah...” Iwaizumi’s face fell when he spotted Takeo. “U-um, Takeo-san... Asami-san,” he said, nodding his head at both of them.

Asami nudged Takeo, pushing him forward despite his height and weight advantage. “Ah, hey Hajime-kun,” he said, kneeling down in front of Iwaizumi who took a hesitant step back. “Um, you know we’ve missed you around our place.”

“You did?” Iwaizumi asked in a small voice.

“Yeah, so we asked why you haven’t been around.”

“O-oh.” Iwaizumi tugged at the hem of his shirt, looking away from Takeo again. He fidgeted in place.

Takeo sighed and pulled the keychain from his pocket. “I wanted to say that I’m sorry, and that I don’t hate you or anything like that.”

Iwaizumi furrowed his brows, forming a deep crease. Still, he looked up once more. “W-what about your work?”

“Ah, well I made an even better display actually. So it kinda worked out.” Takeo handed the keychain over to Iwaizumi whose hands slowly wrapped around it. He clutched it tightly, tugging it to his chest. “I know it was an accident Hajime and I kind of overreacted. I’m really sorry okay?”

“I’m sorry too,” Iwaizumi said, his knuckles going white as he clung to his new keychain. He startled when Takeo began to ruffle his hair.

The tension cleared, Tooru pushed past his brother to step properly inside.

“Geez Tooru can’t you wait,” Asami chided.

“Ehh? But Iwa-chan will come over again, right?” He turned to Iwaizumi expectantly.

“Um... yes,” Iwaizumi said with a small smile. He then bowed his head in thanks for his gift before he and Tooru bid the elder Oikawa siblings goodbye.

“Come on Iwa-chan there’s a volleyball game on right now,” Tooru chirped.

“Gah, volleyball again,” Iwaizumi groaned but followed after Tooru anyway.

~0~

“Iwa-chan forget the bugs! Come practice with me,” Tooru said brightly.

“I helped you yesterday,” Iwaizumi groused, turning around to face Tooru. “The weather’s perfect for hunting beetles.”

Tooru pouted and sauntered over to Iwaizumi. “Please? You had fun yesterday didn’t you? And you think the spikers are cool when we watch the matches on tv!” He leaned forward, getting thoroughly into his friend’s space.

Iwaizumi’s cheeks tainted pink. It was from more than just the bright sunlight. “Mn...”

“Pleaaasee!”

“Tch, fine. But I’m only going to hit your tosses, nothing else,” Iwaizumi said firmly.

Tooru nodded quickly, prompting Iwaizumi to drop his net onto the ground. He joined Tooru who moved to stand in the middle of the field they were playing in. Tooru handed the ball to Iwaizumi. He sighed but accepted it and threw it to Tooru so that he could toss it to him. The first toss was a little shaky but Iwaizumi managed to hit it anyway. They spent well over an hour playing before Asami came to call them back home.

Since they were both still full of energy they ended up running home. Or rather they raced, leaving Asami to shout after them, telling them to be careful. It was hard to tell who was going to win, both out took each other several times during their short spurt.

“Hah! I win,” Iwaizumi boasted, turning to face Tooru who was frantically shaking his head.

“You did not! I reached the stairs first.”

“No way!”

Asami broke up their bickering, urging them inside. “Come on you much be hungry or at least thirsty.” They both nodded their heads and followed her inside. Though they continued to push and make faces at one another. They gulped their respective drinks down, eyeing each over the rim of their glasses. “Really now, you don’t need to compete over everything.” Asami laughed, flicking them both lightly on the head.

After a quick snack they retreated to the comfort of the air conditioning within Tooru’s room. They sprawled out on the floor browsing through volleyball magazines. Eventually Iwaizumi stopped listening to Tooru’s comments. Instead he began to play with some of Tooru’s toys that hadn’t been put away. “Iwa-chan you aren’t even listening!”

“Well I don’t want to read about volleyball. I’d rather just play it.”

“Eh... then want to go back outside?”

Iwaizumi shook his head. He didn’t bother to look at Tooru. His focus remained on making Vabo-chan fight an alien. “It’s too hot for that now.”

Tooru sighed but nodded in agreement. He pushed away his magazines, crawling to settle down by Iwaizumi. “Hey Iwa-chan, you’ll keep playing with me right? Volleyball, I mean. You don’t hate it?”

“Sure.” Iwaizumi turned, giving Tooru a soft smile before he handed Vabo-chan to him. Tooru accepted the plush toy, moving to rest his head on Iwaizumi’s shoulder. “It’s not so bad.”

“That means you really like it.” Tooru snickered. His alien plushie bonked him on the head. “Hey,” He cried out, tossing a different stuffed toy at Iwaizumi. That prompted an all out war.

Eventually they collapsed into a heap on the tatami mats, surrounded by their makeshift artillery. They slipped into slumber, lulled there by the gentle hum of the air conditioner.

~0~

Tooru reached out to pinch Iwaizumi’s nose, holding his nostrils closed. In a matter of seconds he received a swift hit to the stomach for his actions. “You trying to kill me?!” Iwaizumi snarled, rubbing at his nose. He glared at Tooru for ruining his sleep.

While he rubbed at his stomach, Tooru turned his head haughtily. “I was saving you from the nightmare you were obviously having!”

Iwaizumi frowned. His cheeks stained pink as the remnants of his dream swam into focus. He shook his head, chasing the images away. “There are other ways to wake a person up dummy,” he grumbled, rubbing at his nose again.

“Thank-you great Oikawa-san for saving me,” Tooru replied instead. He squawked when Iwaizumi pounced on him, pinching his nose closed in retaliation. “W-wah! Iwa-chan shtop!” He flailed his arms wildly around; his face went red with exertion until he was finally released. “Mean...”

“Serves you right.” Iwaizumi’s voice was filled with laughter, his eyes alight with mirth and his mouth settled into a pleased smirk.

Despite Iwaizumi’s amusement coming from his expense Tooru couldn’t help the feeling of satisfaction that swelled within him. Iwaizumi’s mood had taken a downturn after the summer holidays, though Tooru had yet to figure out why. He simply knew that he didn’t like it and wanted to rectify the sudden shift within his friend.

“You’re smiling again,” Tooru said, moving to collapse over Iwaizumi’s lap. He accepted him without a word. Instead Iwaizumi blinked down at him. The confusion written clearly upon his face. “You haven’t been lately.”

“Haven’t noticed...” Iwaizumi furrowed his brows and laid back down fully. Tooru shifted so that his head rested on Iwaizumi’s chest instead. The frown returned. “What?”

“How come,” Tooru asked, eyes wide and curious.

“How come what,” Iwaizumi replied stubbornly, glancing away from Tooru’s inquisitive gaze. One of his hands picked at a tatami mat.

Tooru huffed, rolling his eyes and poking Iwaizumi’s cheek. “Iwa-chan come on.” He continued to prod at the other boy even as he wiggled away. “Ne, aren’t I your best friend,” he tried instead, his voice quiet and slightly unsure.

An exhausted sigh unbefitting an eight year old boy escaped Iwaizumi’s lips before he rolled back to Tooru’s side. He sat up, drawing his knees to his chest and rested his head on them. “I dunno, I just... I miss my mom.” Iwaizumi’s voice was tiny. He raised his arms to hide his face. “I know I shouldn’t. But I do.” Tooru began to rub Iwaizumi’s back, a small comfort but it urged him to continue. “Some kids asked why I didn’t have a mom because they didn’t see me draw her on the family picture we were supposed to do. Then Kawasaki, that kid from class three, he said he heard my mom left.” Tooru’s hand clenched into a fist, an insult ready on his lips. He was cut off. “He wasn’t mean about it or anything... just saying it ‘cause it’s true.”

“But it’s not their business! Mama says to ignore nosy people like that.” Tooru stuck his nose in the air for a moment, indignant. “And— and you can miss your mom if you want!”

“I don’t want to miss her.” Iwaizumi’s voice sounded watery but Tooru was unsure if he was crying since he was unable to see his face.

“O-oh. Well... s-still it’s okay if you do.”

Iwaizumi’s body shook. A telltale sniff signalled that the tears had come. Tooru wanted to get up to go get his mother but he remained rooted to his spot. He managed to move to wrap his arms around Iwaizumi, pulling him as close as possible and just let him cry. That seemed to be the right thing to do in the end. Iwaizumi settled down fairly quickly after that.

There was an occasional sniffle while they remained curled together, sitting in silence. Iwaizumi’s face was splotchy when he pulled back slightly. His eyes were puffy and red but he wore a small smile. “You _are_ my best friend Tooru.”


	4. Chapter 4

Tooru skipped along, his feet splashing in the shallow puddles that lined the sidewalk. Iwaizumi followed behind him absently twirling his umbrella. The rain was light, providing no concerns over getting drenched.

They were walking home from their first day of the new school year, their final year of elementary. It was a harrowing thought to think that next year they would be attending some junior high. Tooru stopped, turning to look at Iwaizumi. He tilted his umbrella. Some raindrops slipped slowly off as he did so. Iwaizumi stared calmly back at him, waiting for Tooru to turn back around. “Have you thought of what school you want to attend next year,” Tooru asked.

Iwaizumi frowned at him, walking forward and brushing past him. “Not really.”

“Eh! But you should,” Tooru cried out, running to catch up with Iwaizumi who had picked up his pace considerably.

“Well we’ve barely started this school year. It’s a bit early to ask.” Iwaizumi wrinkled his nose, slipping his umbrella down to hide his face. “Ah... well I guess I thought about it a little bit.”

“Then where?” Tooru pressed, his face finding its way under Iwaizumi’s umbrella. His eyes were wide with unrestrained curiosity. He was swatted away, chased back under his own umbrella. “Hmph.”

A long sigh brushed past Iwaizumi’s lips. “Kitagawa Daiichi.”

“Oh! Yes, that’s a very good school isn’t it?” Tooru nodded to himself, pleased with Iwaizumi’s answer. “Well so is Chidoriyama... Ah, then of course there’s Shiratorizawa.” The last school was said with a hint of bitterness.

They had faced Shiratorizawa already. It was a school that continued all the way into high school. That meant the boy they met at a tournament last year was bound to continue on into its junior high.

“Yeah... it’s pretty impressive.”

The rest of the walk was shrouded in a tense silence. Tooru regretted mentioning the topic at all. He just wanted to know that he and Iwaizumi were on the same page. At the very least it seemed that they were.

“Are you coming over today,” Tooru asked. They reached the corner where they usually separated.

Iwaizumi’s expression turned apologetic. “Ah, sorry. I’m bringing my dad some dinner. He has to stay late today.” His voice was so sincere that Tooru couldn’t find it within himself to pout like he usually did.

“Okay... ah, wait. Can’t I come?”

Instantly Iwaizumi’s cheeks began to flush. “W-what—no way. Absolutely not.” He shook his head adamantly.

This time Tooru did pout. “Aw you never let me come!”

“Because you’d want to meet every last person there. And they’re busy! They don’t have time to entertain some kids.”

“Well I think it’s just because they must have embarrassing stories about you,” Tooru replied haughtily. “Didn’t you say there’s a guy who used to bring you snacks all the time?” He smiled wryly; Iwaizumi’s face turned an even brighter shade of red, making Tooru laugh gleefully. “I’m right!”

“Shut-up!” Iwaizumi growled, though it was hardly scary with his face so red from embarrassment.

“One day I’ll manage to go with you.” Tooru puffed up, smug and sure of himself. “You can’t keep me away forever~”

Iwaizumi rolled his eyes, turning to walk around the corner down to his own street. “Yeah, yeah. I’ll phone you when I get back okay?” He looked back, only the tips of his ears remained pink.

“You better,” Tooru called, laughing merrily while he skipped the rest of the way home.

~0~

Tooru opened the door with little fanfare and a hand on his hip. “You can just come in you know.”

“I’m not rude like you.” Iwaizumi snorted, stepping inside the Oikawa household. He was staying over for the weekend. His bag was slung over his shoulder. “Was that your brother’s car outside?”

“Yeah,” Tooru waited while Iwaizumi exchanged his shoes for slippers. His family had gotten Iwaizumi his own pair. They had a little Godzilla printed on the front. “He brought Takeru too. He’s walking now.”

“Ah really?” Iwaizumi’s lips curled up, the slightest of smiles before he walked toward Tooru’s room. He dropped his things down on the floor. Tooru followed after him.

“Yeah but now he touches everything,” Tooru said, his face wrinkling in distaste. “And he gets them sticky too.” To prove his point Tooru grabbed one of his old alien plushies and true to his word, it was much more grimy than it had been before.

Iwaizumi laughed, bearing no sympathy at all. “Well it’s not like you play with it anymore,” he said reasonably. It did little to soothe Tooru. “Come on, I want to say hi to your brother.”

Tooru sniffed derisively. “You like my brother more than me!”

“Because he’s not annoying.”

“Iwa-chan!” Tooru draped himself over Iwaizumi’s shoulders and back, becoming a dead weight. “I met you first.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Iwaizumi patted Tooru on the head before he pushed him off. “Doesn’t mean you’re the best.”

“Thought I heard your voice Hajime.” Takeo stood at the end of the hall, smirking slightly. His arms were crossed, waiting for the boys to reach him.

Iwaizumi’s head whipped up sharply. He stood up straighter. “Hi Takeo-san.”

Takeo laughed, ruffling Iwaizumi’s hair when he reached the end of the hall. He managed to ruffle Tooru’s hair too. He earned a tongue stuck out at him for his actions.

When they stepped into the living room Takeru quickly climbed all over Iwaizumi. He was pleased with having someone new to keep him entertained. Unfortunately Tooru had been correct about the sticky hands. Iwaizumi was covered in anko by the time Takeru settled down fully, sitting in Iwaizumi’s lap. He leaned back happily like it was the most natural thing in the world for him to do.

“Ah, you make such a good big brother Hajime.” Tooru’s mother chuckled. Takeo nodded in agreement beside her. Iwaizumi’s face turned red at the comment. Tooru snickered at him. Takeru got excited about this and wound up hitting Tooru right in the middle of his nose.

Tooru rubbed his nose petulantly but quickly recovered when his Mom started to take pictures. She snapped several of Iwaizumi because he was still holding Takeru. She tried to get Takeru to sit in Tooru’s lap but he refused. Instead he squirmed and flopped around like a fish out of water as he tried to get back to Iwaizumi. Eventually she gave up and got him to lean against Iwaizumi instead, with Tooru on his other side so she could take a picture of all three of them together.

At dinner Takeru moved to sit with his Dad. He happily ate the food from Takeo’s plate instead of his own. Afterwards Takeru began to get tired, prompting Takeo to declare that it was time for them to head home.

With the visit over Tooru and Iwaizumi returned to Tooru’s bedroom. They played games for awhile. Eventually they were urged to have a bath and to go to bed. Tooru didn’t remember who fell asleep first, just that it was late due to them whispering to one another throughout the night.

~0~

Rushing through the halls of the school, Tooru looked in every door that he could. Yet there was still no sign of Iwaizumi. He had lost sight of him when they were dismissed from the gymnasium after the closing ceremony. Since he wasn’t anywhere within the halls or in any classroom that left outside on the school grounds. Tooru began his trek back down the hallway; only this time he looked out the windows.

“Ah...” Iwaizumi was sitting on a bench under a cherry blossom tree that had yet to fully bloom. Tooru ran outside, nearly knocking into several people in his haste. He didn’t even stop to apologize. Tooru arrived to the bench, halting abruptly. He panted, catching his breath. From the periphery of his vision he eyed Iwaizumi. The branches provided Iwaizumi’s face with a spotty shadow. Once his breath was properly caught, he sat down next to Iwaizumi. Rather it was more like he plopped. Iwaizumi remained quiet, twirling a stray cherry blossom petal in his hand. “It took me ages to find you Iwa-chan.”

Iwaizumi simply grunted, continuing to play with the petal. He didn’t even bother to look over at Tooru. Eventually he allowed the petal to sail slowly onto the ground. “Why are you not with your mom,” he asked, voice subdued and monotonous.

“Well that’s why I was looking for you,” Tooru said, kicking his feet out. He let them hang in the air as he rocked slightly, holding himself up with his hands bracketed behind him. “She wants to take pictures of us.”

“Hn.” Iwaizumi remained seated. His gaze drifted to the families that took pictures within the schoolyard. Tooru glanced at him, pausing to properly observe him. Iwaizumi’s eyes belied a deep longing, one that couldn’t be properly fulfilled, nor was it one Tooru could understand fully. “There were a lot of mothers here today,” Iwaizumi said, his voice trying for casual but not succeeding entirely.

Tooru’s heart seized painfully in his chest. He knew Iwaizumi was disappointed over his dad being unable to attend the closing ceremony. A picky client refused to reschedule, nor would they meet with anyone else. Of course Iwaizumi never let his father see his disappointment. “Well,” Tooru tried, “we —we should go find my... she wants to take pictures. We should take lots, don’t you think?” The _for your dad_ was left unsaid but still hung heavily in the air between them.

“Yeah...” Iwaizumi sighed, tearing his gaze away from a nearby family. A mother was pushing her son’s hair out of his face. “Let’s go then.” Iwaizumi pushed himself up off of the bench. Tooru hopped up after him. He wrapped his hand securely around Iwaizumi’s wrist, tugging him along through the crowds of people. Tooru glanced back. Iwaizumi still bared that desperate yearning over his face.

“Oh! There she is.” Tooru waved with his free hand, walking more slowly as he greeted his mother.

She wore a fond though slightly exasperated smile. “There you two are. I was beginning to fear you were abducted by aliens.” Her smile tinged with a tease.

“Mom,” Tooru whined, huffing as he glanced away indignantly. Iwaizumi stood quietly beside him. He hadn’t shaken his wrist free.

Tooru let go, allowing his mother to usher him and Iwaizumi to stand in front of a nearby tree. She got them to hold up their certificates despite the fact she had already taken several in the gymnasium after they had received them.

They stopped on their way out at the statue that stood near the entrance gates. She finally declared that she had enough. While they walked to the car Iwaizumi was still subdued. He hadn’t spoken very much at all during all the picture taking. Tooru’s mother eyed him critically. “Ah, you know Hajime-kun I spoke with your dad. He said that he will be off by dinner. We both agreed that it would be nice to go out to a restaurant. The one we discussed, I’ve heard their agedashi tofu is supposed to be really amazing.”

Iwaizumi slowly perked up, a bit of light returning to his eyes. The shroud of darkness lifted from his shoulders. A small smile now graced his lips. “That sounds great.”


	5. Middle School

Exhaling heavily, Tooru slowly pulled his track pants up over his shorts. He would deal with getting clean later. Or more specifically, when he got home. His steps treaded against the floor, weighed down with his hesitation as he made his way to the clubroom door. He wanted to practice some more. No, he _needed_ to practice more. He let out another long breath of air, opening the door and stepped outside.

He bypassed other students from different clubs during his walk to the school entrance. As he got nearer he spotted Iwaizumi. Tooru was about to call out to him but his eyes settled over the smaller boy at his side. He wasn’t alone. Tooru’s lips curled downward, disgusted. Why was Iwaizumi with Tobio-chan?

Annoyed, Tooru stood up straighter, his chest out, practically posturing as he walked up to the pair. “What’s all this then,” he asked, his voice falsely sweet.

Iwaizumi raised an eyebrow at him. Kageyama’s eyes went wide. “Oikawa-san.”

“Kageyama is waiting for his mom,” Iwaizumi answered the silent question.

“Oh?” Tooru smirked. “What’s that? Tobio-chan needs to be picked up by his mommy?”

He received a stern frown from Iwaizumi and furrowed brows from Kageyama. “My Mom said we had to do something today. She told me to wait for her after practice.”

“Practice has been over for over thirty minutes already.” Tooru pointed out coldly. He stepped past Kageyama so that he could lean against the wall next to Iwaizumi. “I suppose you’ve decided to wait with him?”

“I already said it was all right...” Kageyama turned to Iwaizumi, his eyes imploring. “You can go with Oikawa-san.”

“Well there you have it Iwa-chan, let’s go,” Tooru said, pushing himself away from the wall. He turned expectantly to Iwaizumi who remained firmly in place.

Iwaizumi glanced to Kageyama, his expression resolute. “I already said I would wait.” To further emphasize his point he reached out to ruffle Kageyama’s hair and even smiled a little. Tooru made a face but quickly returned to a neutral expression when Iwaizumi faced forward again. “You can go home,” he told Tooru, his voice flat, barely regarding him.

“But I’m going to your place today,” Tooru replied indignantly.

Kageyama turned to face them both, his eyes wide in alarm. His expression shifted into guilt. He opened his mouth to speak, but Iwaizumi interrupted him. “I can pick you up from your house later.”

That wasn’t the answer Tooru desired. He crossed his arms, turning to pout childishly. “Feh.” Iwaizumi didn’t react. Instead he was facing Kageyama, handing him a piece of dried seaweed from a small packet.

“Thank-you Iwaizumi-san.”

“Where’s mine,” Tooru asked, affronted that Iwaizumi hadn’t offered him any.

“You don’t even like these.” Iwaizumi rolled his eyes but he leaned down to dig around in his bag. When he was upright again he tossed Tooru a package of Yan Yan. “There.” He huffed, his cheeks slightly pink as he munched on a piece of seaweed.

Tooru beamed brightly at him. It was even the milk flavoured kind. His favourite. This meant that these were specifically for him because Iwaizumi didn’t like that flavour. While Tooru peeled the lid off he watched Iwaizumi share some more of his seaweed with Kageyama. Tooru wrinkled his nose, spotting bits of seaweed on Kageyama’s face. He dipped his breadstick into the cream, gathering a generous amount.

“Oi, here.” Iwaizumi lifted his hand to remove the stray pieces from Kageyama’s face. Tooru narrowed his eyes, stabbing another breadstick into the cream. He broke it in half. “Here, have some more.” Iwaizumi insisted, holding the bag out even as Kageyama shook his head.

After they all finished their snacks Tooru slid down into a crouch against the wall. The sun had long since set, darkness was setting in its stead. He sighed impatiently. Iwaizumi nudged his foot harshly, nearly knocking Tooru over.

It was another thirty minutes before Kageyama’s mother finally arrived. She looked rather harried when she ushered him into the car. Kageyama gave them a small wave as the car drove off.

“Ah finally,” Tooru drawled, getting to his feet. “I’m starving.”

“You didn’t have to wait too.” Iwaizumi walked on ahead though his face was slow enough for Tooru catch up with him easily.

“But you were waiting.” Tooru was shoved for his reply. He rubbed his arm petulantly for effect. After his short display he chatted happily with Iwaizumi. Their walk home seemingly took no time at all.

~0~

Another tournament lost.

Tooru jumped, his hand connecting with the ball. It hit the net. He grabbed another ball. This one went out of bounds. His teeth grit in agitation, fury, _disappointment_. A new ball in his hands and still it didn’t go where he wanted it to. Frustration in full force, he hurled the ball across the gym instead of serving it.

This was why he couldn’t win, couldn’t stand at the top. He wasn’t enough. After he drew in a steadying breath, Tooru closed his eyes. He grabbed another ball, lifting it to touch his forehead, visualising where he wanted it to go. His feet carried him into his run up. He launched himself into the air. When he smacked the ball down it landed right where he was aiming for.

Yet his body betrayed him still. His landing was anything but clean. “You’ve been at it for too long.” Iwaizumi’s voice cut past the heavy breathing expelling from Tooru’s mouth. A grimace formed on Tooru’s face. He refused to turn around and face Iwaizumi. This wasn’t the first time Iwaizumi had come to retrieve him. He just didn’t get it. There was a wall Tooru had to surpass and now there was a fledgling predator hot on his heels. Tooru didn’t have time to slow down, to stop. He needed to keep going.

Iwaizumi’s steps were slow while he walked into the gym, to Tooru. He stopped to stand in front of him, his body shadowing over Tooru who remained seated on the floor due to his poor landing. Tooru stubbornly looked at the floor, at the other side of the gym, anywhere but at the face that stood above him. Iwaizumi wasn’t deterred. He shifted, kneeling down instead. Positive that a smack or punch was coming his way Tooru attempted to inch away.

However Iwaizumi reached out gently, his hands stopping to rest over Tooru’s knee. “You landed weird on that last one.” Tooru glanced up at him quickly, finding that his gaze was soft. Instead of relief anger bubbled through Tooru. He didn’t want pity. He slapped Iwaizumi’s hands away.

“I’m fine. You can go,” Tooru said flatly.

The hands returned and began to massage his knee. Iwaizumi was possibly more stubborn than Tooru. His expression remained passive even as he spoke again. “You need to rest. Stop pushing yourself so hard. If you stop now you’ll still be able to play tomorrow.”

Tooru narrowed his eyes. Iwaizumi glared right back at him, his hands still kneading into Tooru’s knee. “You haven’t drank anything either. Not to mention it’s nearly dinner time for you. Plus you have homework to finish.”

“Geez, what are you, _my Mom_?” The words slipped out bitterly before he could stop them. Tooru’s eyes widened, horrified that he just said the worst thing possible.

Iwaizumi remained where he was though he did raise one hand to flick Tooru on the forehead. “Shut-up dumbass.” He stood up then, holding out a hand. “Come on, I’ll help you clean up. _Then_ we’re going home.” His tone left no room for argument.

Shocked still by his own words, Tooru didn’t grab the offered hand. Iwaizumi clicked his tongue, startling Tooru into reaching out. Once he was hauled to his feet they quickly cleaned up the gym.

“Are you going to come over today,” Tooru asked quietly, pulling on his jacket.

Iwaizumi glanced at him, assessing Tooru before he nodded. “Yeah, sure.”

~0~

Tooru laid in his bed, gazing up at his ‘Best Setter’ award thoughtfully. The award made him happy. Really, it did. But somehow, even when seen as the best he was unable to beat Ushiwaka. Well, they did win _one_ set. They had come the closest they ever had to beating Shiratorizawa. He grabbed the ball that rested beside him, tossing it into the air.

His door slid open revealing Iwaizumi who stepped inside. Tooru didn’t greet him. Iwaizumi said nothing either. Instead he simply sat down on the floor, leaning against the edge of the bed. They sat quietly for awhile, only the sound of the ball hitting Tooru’s fingertips kept them from complete silence.

Eventually Iwaizumi turned his head to look at Tooru. “Why aren’t you studying?” Tooru wrinkled his face in disgust just as the ball landed softly in his hands. Iwaizumi laughed.

“Why aren’t _you_ studying?” Tooru stuck out his tongue.

“Taking a break,” Iwaizumi answered seriously, making Tooru turn onto his side.

“Oh.” Tooru blinked slowly. His lips curled into a playful smirk. “Yes, that’s probably a good idea. You shouldn’t exhaust your brain too much. I mean it’s not used to it after all!” Iwaizumi smacked his leg. “Ow!” Tooru threw the ball at Iwaizumi. He caught it easily.

For a moment Tooru thought Iwaizumi would throw the ball harshly back at him. Instead he turned fully around. He stared expectantly at Tooru. Taking the hint, he sat up properly on his bed. They began to volley the ball back and forth.

“We could be doing this outside,” Tooru said after awhile.

“It’s raining,” Iwaizumi said, leaning back slightly trying to connect his fingers to the off-kilter ball.

“Oh. Right, now that you mention it your hair does look worse than it usually does.” Tooru snickered. The ball went sailing behind him. “Hey!”

Eventually they grew tired of tossing the ball back and forth. Iwaizumi moved to lie on the floor. Tooru laid back down on his side. He peered down at Iwaizumi from the edge of his bed. His eyes bored into him. “What do you think our new team will be like?”

Iwaizumi raised an eyebrow, slightly taken aback. “Bit early to be wondering that is it not? We have to get in first.”

Tooru waved his hand dismissively. “We’ll definitely get in.”

“Right.” Iwaizumi rolled his eyes but he set about to ponder the question seriously. “Well I guess it’ll be full of dynamic players... ones we can learn a lot from.”

“Iwa-chan that’s boring.” Tooru sighed. “I mean do you think there will be funny guys there or serious ones or I don’t know... ones who are big dorks for Godzilla like you?” Tooru smiled sardonically.

Iwaizumi glared at him. “Whatever you alien nerd.”

“Hey! I haven’t spoken about aliens in years,” Tooru huffed indignantly.

“Ah right, you’ve traded them in for Vabo-chan.” Iwaizumi smirked lazily up at Tooru.

“Vabo-chan is cooler than Godzilla.” Tooru sniffed haughtily.

“No way.” Iwaizumi laughed. The corners of his eyes crinkled. “Vabo-chan is a ball with legs. How is that in any way cool?”

Tooru pouted, turning to look up the ceiling. “Well, he’s cuter.”

Iwaizumi hummed thoughtfully. “Well all right. I’ll give you that one.” He sat up again, peering down at Tooru who remained lying down. “You feeling okay now?”

“Ehhh?” Tooru’s eyes widened with surprise. “What do you mean?”

“Well your texts were... kinda clipped? I dunno, just seemed off.” Iwaizumi tilted his head, furrowing his brows.

In an instant Tooru sat up. “What’s this? Don’t tell me you came over here because you were worried,” he crowed in delight. Iwaizumi frowned and looked away. His ears had gone red, the colour slowly creeping down his face and neck. Tooru chuckled a bit but he settled into a fond smile afterwards. He draped himself over Iwaizumi’s shoulders. His head was pillowed on his arm. “I’m feeling all right now,” he said quietly, his eyes twinkling happily while Iwaizumi gently knocked their heads together.


	6. High School: Year One

Tooru tapped his foot against the floor, joining his fingers together at the tips as he waited in the gymnasium. He looked around, inspecting everything. It was a decent size. His eyes flitted toward some of the senior members of the volleyball team. Introductions had yet to take place. The captain said that they were still waiting on some of the other first years to arrive.

Iwaizumi stood beside him. His movements were unhindered by nerves. He was calmly talking to someone who had introduced themselves as Yuda Kaneo. Yuda’s hair was messy. A smattering of freckles were dusted over his face. “Oh, a wing spiker? I am too.” Yuda smiled.

Losing interest, Tooru glanced to the door. Two taller, more lanky guys walked in. At first he thought they were older than him but then noticed they weren’t wearing Seijou’s colours yet. They had to be first years like him. After a few more first years came in the captain called for attention.

When introductions were finished Tooru learned that the two players were named Hanamaki Takahiro and Matsukawa Issei. They had a wry, slightly sarcastic sense of humour. Together they seemed to ease the tension amongst their fellow first years.

“Pretty big team isn’t it,” Hanamaki said, tilting his head as he stretched out his legs.

“The gym’s big too.” Iwaizumi wrinkled his nose.

Hanamaki leaned toward Iwaizumi, resting an arm on his shoulder. “Ah you mustn’t be intimidated, Iwaizumi was it?”

Matsukawa flanked Iwaizumi’s other side. “Yeah, we have three whole years to grow into the gym.”

Tooru snickered then tried to pass it off as a cough. He was unsuccessful. Iwaizumi spiked a ball at him. He agreed to toss to his fellow first years. They were occupied with that for awhile before he was asked to switch with a third year setter.

So far he was pleased with everyone’s abilities. Though he was happy to learn what his seniors had to offer too. Iwaizumi seemed to getting along rather well with their teammates. Tooru snuck a glance at him, watching as he pulled off an impressive spike and then was promptly patted on the back. He really needed to stop being so cool!

Eventually the coaches stepped in. They called for drill practices. Serves were first. Tooru couldn’t contain his excitement, almost vibrating as he waited for his turn. He heard some of his seniors murmuring about him already, wondering about his serve. Thankfully his jump was good, but his aim was slightly off. Everyone was still adequately impressed. When Tooru went back in line Iwaizumi smacked him. “Quit looking so smug.”

“Iwa-chan is just jealous,” Tooru responded primly.

“Oh? What’s this? You have nicknames for each other?” Matsukawa smirked, his eyes alight with amusement. Hanamaki looked much the same.

“He’s just a dumbass who rarely ever calls anyone by their name.” Iwaizumi rolled his eyes, walking to the front as he was called to serve.

“So how long does it take to get a nickname,” Hanamaki asked.

“Well...” Tooru tapped his chin thoughtfully. “I wonder.” His voice trailed off airily which caused Hanamaki and Matsukawa to snort.

Iwaizumi joined them back in the line-up. Shido was up next. By the time they finished receiving drills Matsukawa and Hanamaki had been dubbed ‘Mattsun’ and ‘Makki’ respectively.

Tooru’s choice had been the right one.

~0~

He still wasn’t in the gym. Tooru looked around, frowning. Iwaizumi was usually one of the first to arrive. Had he got called to stay behind after class? Or was it his turn for cleaning up the classroom? No, he usually told Tooru when he had classroom duties.

Tooru glanced around the gym again, his worry not abating with the lack of Iwaizumi. His gaze stopped at Hanamaki and Matsukawa. They seemed awfully amused. Tooru squinted at them.

“Oikawa?” Yuda interrupted his thoughts.

“Eh? Oh, um yes?” Tooru turned, smiling wanly.

“You okay?”

Wait, Yuda was in the same class as Iwaizumi. “Yes, fine. Did Iwa-chan get asked to stay behind or anything?”

Yuda tilted his head. “Oh, no. Actually I thought he would have beaten me here... strange.”

Tooru nodded but Yuda was called over to one of their seniors before they could deliberate any further. He decided investigate to what the pair in the corner were having so much fun with. “Ya-hoo~ Makki, Mattsun.” Tooru sauntered over to them. “I don’t suppose you two have seen Iwa-chan?”

Matsukawa looked to Hanamaki, prompting them both into snickering. Tooru narrowed his eyes, suspicious. So they did know something. “Where is he?” His voice silky smooth and his smile sweet and horribly fake.

Hanamaki tilted his head in consideration. “Well we thought we would, ah, mess with his constant promptness a little.” Matsukawa nodded sagely, like he had done Iwaizumi a great service.

“What does that mean?”

They started laughing again. Matsukawa heaved an exaggerated sigh. “We might have... locked him in a storage closet.”

Tooru’s eyes widened. “You what?! Where? Which one,” He demanded frantically, startling Matsukawa and Hanamaki a little. They tossed him the key, taken aback at Tooru’s sudden outburst.

“Well, in the main building,” Hanamaki said slowly. At that Tooru hurried off. Matsukawa and Hanamaki followed him out of the gym. “Eh, what’s the rush?” Tooru didn’t answer. Instead he opened the door to the main school building. “Er, it’s that one just up there.” Hanamaki pointed to the nearest storage closet.

Tooru quickly opened the door. “Iwa-chan are you o—” He was cut off by Iwaizumi pushing past him, speeding out of the hall as quickly as he could.

“Why didn’t you ask me about this first,” Tooru barked, rounding back onto Hanamaki and Matsukawa.

“Because... you would have warned him? No a very effective prank,” Matsukawa said slowly.

“I could have told you what a stupid idea it was.” Tooru whipped open the door to head back outside. He was ahead of them now, racing to find Iwaizumi.

“Guess his mommy had to save him after all,” Hanamaki quipped, a smirk in place. It instantly dropped off when Tooru turned around, looking absolutely livid.

“Whoa... what?” Matsukawa held his hands up in defense.

“Please tell me you didn’t say anything like that to him after you locked him in there.” Tooru’s voice dripped with venom.

They glanced nervously at each other. “Er... we might have? Um, what’s the big deal,” Hanamaki asked, frowning slightly.

Tooru’s body pulsed with rage. It clearly showed on his face. The way Hanamaki and Matsukawa back away from him was a great indicator. He was so very close to striking out, to hitting them. He closed his eyes instead, counting to five and drawing in a deep breath. “That was the absolute worst thing you could have done.” Tooru scowled, his voice much lower than it usually was.

At the confused stares Tooru sighed. He knew they couldn’t possibly have known and that they wouldn’t have done it if they did. Still, it didn’t keep him from being angry. “Look, I know you can’t have known because he never talks about it. Well, I mean why would he?” Tooru ran a hand through his hair. This wasn’t for him to tell. He knew it wasn’t. “You can’t just suddenly leave him and lock him in there!”

“Is he afraid of small spaces or something," Matsukawa asked, still thoroughly confused. Hanamaki looked much the same.

“Geh...” Tooru pursed his lips. “No.” He bit into his bottom lip. “No it’s not. Iwa-chan... his mom, she left his family when he was young.” He paused, taking another calming breath before continuing, “When she did she left him alone while his dad was still at work. He was there for hours all by himself.”

“Oh...”

“Shit.”

“Yeah, shit about sums it up,” Tooru replied icily. He turned back around, not bothering with any more words. Finding Iwaizumi was far more important than yelling at two people who were just trying to have a bit of fun with their teammate.

Tooru found him around the corner of the gymnasium usually used by the basketball team. Iwaizumi was seated on the ground, his knees drawn to his chest. He rested his head upon them. His face was hidden, not easing Tooru at all.

When Tooru sat down beside him he leaned against him. He could feel Iwaizumi shaking, prompting him to rub his back. They remained like that for awhile.

“I thought I was over this.” Despite the fact that he was right next to Iwaizumi, Tooru still had trouble making out what he said. When the words sunk in Tooru’s heart constricted painfully for his friend. He moved to wrap his arms more fully around Iwaizumi who remained rigid. “Why?” Iwaizumi choked out.

Tooru squeezed him tighter, resting his head on top of Iwaizumi’s. “Hajime.” His voice was quiet. “Hajime, you’re not weak. I know that’s what you’re thinking, but you’re not.” Iwaizumi scoffed at him. Tooru repeated himself more firmly.

The tension fell from Iwaizumi’s body and he went limp in Tooru’s arms. He turned into him, allowing himself to be held. Several minutes passed before he pulled away and stood up. “I’m going home.”

“Oh, well then I’ll come,” Tooru said, following after Iwaizumi without a second thought.

Iwaizumi frowned, disapproving. “What? No, go to practice.”

“Eh? But your dad is still at work right? I’m going with you,” Tooru answered simply. Iwaizumi looked as though he wanted to argue his point some more but his shoulders sagged, the fight leaving him. Sighing, he let it go.

“Fine. Whatever.”

~0~

In the midst of doing his stretches Tooru spotted Matsukawa and Hanamaki heading toward Iwaizumi. He frowned, watching them more closely. They hadn’t approached him or Iwaizumi for the rest of the week following the closet incident.

Unfortunately for him he couldn’t hear what they were saying. Tooru moved closer, getting just within earshot. Iwaizumi’s face remained passive while he was greeted by the pair.

“Ah, hey.” Iwaizumi nodded curtly.

Suddenly both Matsukawa and Hanamaki descended into bowing deeply before Iwaizumi. “We’re sorry,” they said in unison. Iwaizumi looked taken aback from what Tooru could tell. His face was slightly flushed too.

When they straightened up, both swung an arm around Iwaizumi’s shoulders. “We have something for you,” Matsukawa said.

“Yes, we uh, believe you’re a big fan of godzilla,” Hanamaki continued, nodding to Matsukawa who held out three tickets in front of them with his free hand. “So I’m sure you’re aware of the special screening of the original that’s this weekend right?”

Iwaizumi nodded, slightly dazed. His eyes were trained on the tickets. “What.. but... these are...”

“Now you don’t have to worry about any expenses,” Matsukawa cut in. “We’re going to take care of everything.”

Iwaizumi shook his head. “What? No y-you don’t need to do all that.”

“No, we really, _really_ do.” Hanamaki said. Matsukawa nodded solemnly.

Tired of watching, Tooru waltzed over to the trio. He peered over at the tickets. “What’s all this then?”

“Movie tickets,” Matsukawa answered blandly.

Tooru huffed. “Yes, but why are there only three?”

Hanamaki raised an eyebrow. Iwaizumi glared at Tooru though Matsukawa seemed to be mildly amused. “Because only the three of us are going,” Matsukawa said.

A petulant whine escaped from Tooru. He did not like this development at all. Rather, Tooru hated being left out of things, even godzilla movies. He was about grouse some more about the unfairness of it all when Matsukawa and Hanamaki burst into laughter. “Eh!?”

Matsukawa pulled out another ticket. “Don’t worry. We know you two come as a pair.”

“What? No we don’t!” Iwaizumi denied, frowning and face going red all over again.

“But we definitely do Iwa-chan.” Tooru insisted even as Iwaizumi attempted to kick his shin. “Everyone knows it,” He crowed cheerfully, skipping out of the way again as another foot came toward him.

They all ended up laughing in the end, particularly when Iwaizumi finally managed to get his hands on Tooru. He trapped him in a headlock. “Yeah, see definitely a pair.” Hanamaki smirked.

“Shut-up,” Iwaizumi grunted, but his voice betrayed his amusement. Laughter soon bubbled out of him. Things were light amongst them all again. They were back to trading quips with one another. Tooru was especially glad that Iwaizumi’s form confident posture had returned.

After they finished cleaning up the gym after practice, during their walk back to the clubroom they worked out the details for the movie.

On the walk home when Tooru invited Iwaizumi over to his house, he accepted. This was a marked improvement as he had declined all the previous offers throughout the past week. He was definitely feeling like himself again.


	7. High School: Year Two

Flopped over his desk, Tooru barely registered what his literature teacher was saying. He wanted class to be over, to be at practice, to have a volleyball in his hands. His eyes drifted towards the window, eyes glazing over slightly. The wind picked up, blowing stray leaves around. There was still one more class left. Why couldn’t the day be over already?

While the literature teacher assigned reading homework Tooru hastily scribbled it down, thankful that he now only had to endure one more class. He sat up a little straighter, attempting to look diligent when the maths teacher entered the classroom. Just one more hour and he would be free.

The hour naturally took forever to be over with. Or it seemed that way. When the bell rang Tooru was one of the first to get up, racing for the door. He walked briskly through the second year corridor, stopping only when he ran into Hanamaki and Matsukawa. Once they greeted each other they walked to the clubroom together.

Strangely they hadn’t run into Iwaizumi on their way. He wasn’t in the clubroom or the gym when they arrived either. Tooru frowned. His eyes kept glancing towards the doors every time someone came in. Each time he was left disappointed.

Yuda eventually came in, looking slightly harried. Tooru went to approach him. He and Iwaizumi were still in the same class. “Yudacchi,” he called. Matsukawa and Hanamaki looked up from their stretches.

“Ah, Oikawa I don’t know if you heard but Iwaizumi, he passed out during our afternoon classes.”

“Eh?!” Tooru’s eyes widened in alarm.

“I had to bring him to the infirmary. He’s still there. The nurse is having trouble contacting his dad I think,” Yuda explained.

Tooru’s mouth twisted into a tight frown. He glanced at his teammates. “Ah go on. We’ll tell the coaches you’ll be late,” Hanamaki said, waving his hand. Tooru didn’t need to be told twice. He ran out of the gym.

Worry pulsed through Tooru as he walked as quickly as possible through the school. He knew why the nurse was having trouble contacting Iwaizumi’s father. Iwaizumi mentioned yesterday that his dad was having to stay at work due to some big contract. While he was positive that Iwaizumi knew perfectly well how to get a hold of his dad, he also knew that there was no way he would want to inconvenience him.

Reaching the infirmary, Tooru’s suspicions were proven correct. “Really, I can make it home on my own.” Iwaizumi’s voice was slightly lethargic and his words slurred together.

“That’s not a good idea Iwaizumi-kun.” The nurse’s voice cut in. “You passed out during class. There’s no way I can let you walk home alone in this condition!”

They both glanced to the door when Oikawa stepped inside. “Oikawa,” Iwaizumi greeted him, frowning.

“Yuda told me you were here.” Oikawa walked over to the bed Iwaizumi was seated on. The nurse was right. Iwaizumi was in no condition to walk home alone. He was flushed, his eyes glassy and he swayed even though he was firmly seated. “Also, er, I think I can offer a solution,” Tooru said, glancing to the nurse.

“No way. You aren’t walking me home. You have practice,” Iwaizumi grunted.

Tooru clicked his tongue. “I was going to say we can call my mom.”

The nurse pursed her lips. “That’s... I mean there’s protocol you know.” Her voice lacked fight, not wanting to argue against the idea too wholeheartedly. She glanced at Iwaizumi, frowning a little. “But... I mean I haven’t been able to contact your father.”

“I keep saying I can walk home,” Iwaizumi said, attempting to be firm. The nurse eyed him warily. She shook her head.

“Iwa-chan can you even stand on your own,” Tooru asked, raising an eyebrow. “Let’s just call my mom. She’s home and has a car.”

Eventually Tooru convinced the nurse into calling his mother, showing her that she didn’t have many desirable options left to her. Iwaizumi gave up arguing that he could walk home too. Tooru suspected it was because he ran out of energy to do so.

Once his mom was contacted Tooru waited with Iwaizumi. “You don’t need to, have practice,” Iwaizumi mumbled though he slumped into Tooru as he helped him down the hall to the front of the school. “Not a big deal...”

“It’s fine. Makki and Mattsun are covering for me already,” Tooru said, wrapping his arm more securely around Iwaizumi’s waist.

Tooru’s mother thankfully arrived in nearly no time at all. She looked a little distressed at the sight of Iwaizumi, doting over him in an instant. Tooru helped her get Iwaizumi settled into the car, putting his bag in the back seat. He waved them off, watching until the car was out of view before he returned to the gym.

\--

Ayame glanced over to the passenger seat, waiting at the intersection. She frowned sadly. Iwaizumi rested his head against the window. He appeared listless and despite his flushed cheeks, the rest of him was a pallid grey she had never seen upon his skin before.

She sighed, shifting her eyes back to the road and turned off the industrial street onto a more residential one. Iwaizumi blinked slowly, turning to her. “Um, Auntie this isn’t the way to my house.” He furrowed his brows, his lids heavy as he attempted to sit up straight. It was a poor decision, proving only to make him groan. He collapsed back into the seat.

“There is no way I am letting you go home in this state. Particularly when I’m perfectly aware that you will be there alone,” she said, firmly ignoring his protests.

Despite the stubbornness Iwaizumi usually exuded in times where his penchant for independence was questioned, he gave up alarmingly fast this time. He really wasn’t doing well at all. Her worry increased tenfold. Perhaps he simply realised there was little he could since she was the driver.

When they arrived home Iwaizumi attempted to carry his school things, but Ayame quickly slapped his hands away. “Really Hajime-kun, isn’t Tooru supposed to be the difficult one?” She chided him, helping him up the path leading to the door.

Once inside she ushered him into Tooru’s room, pushing him down into the bed and covered him with a blanket. She went to the kitchen, grabbing a glass of water before stopping to grab a cooling patch from the first aid kit. When she got back to Tooru’s room Iwaizumi’s eyes were closed. His breathing was laborious though. She settled herself down onto the bed, setting the water on the floor. After she opened the cooling pad she placed it gently over his forehead, brushing the hair from his face.

Her eyebrows furrowed in concern when she really took in the state Iwaizumi was in. “Oh Hajime-kun,” she said sadly, adjusting the blanket. “I’ll go make you some soup.” She pushed herself up off of the bed, heading towards the door.

After a quick glance back, she was almost back out into the hall when she heard him. “Mom.” Ayame’s heart clenched painfully causing her to grip at the edge of the door. She hesitated, deliberating on whether she should stay or not. She let out a heavy sigh. Iwaizumi’s eyes drifted back closed, his face burrowing into the pillows. She remained in the doorway for another minute before leaving to the kitchen. Her resolve settled on making some soup.

\--

When Tooru got home he found that Iwaizumi’s shoes were in the genken. He spotted his mom in the kitchen ladling soup into a bowl. “Oh Tooru, good. Bring this up to Hajime-kun and try to get him to eat some. He’s in your room.”

“Okay.” Tooru grabbed the bowl and padded his way to his room. Iwaizumi was asleep so Tooru settled down on the floor, leaning against the wall. In the end when Iwaizumi woke up for a bit, he only managed to eat a few bites before pushing the bowl away. He collapsed back onto the bed.

Bored, Tooru took to playing a game on his phone. Someone knocking at the door gave him pause. His listened to his mother’s gentle voice, then Iwaizumi’s father’s voice reached his room, sounding panicked. Tooru went to join his mother. Iwaizumi-san’s suit was dishevelled, seeming to have arrived in a rush. “Ah, but I should really bring him home,” he said. “Really, thank-you so much for looking after him until now. I truly appreciate it.”

“Uncle,” Tooru cut in, “I don’t think Iwa-chan would like it very much if you missed work because of him.”

“Tooru’s right.” His mother nodded. “Besides Hajime-kun is in no condition to be moved.”

Iwaizumi-san frowned, hedging in the entryway before he nodded. “Well, if it’s all right, I would like to see him at the very least.”

“Of course,” she replied, nodding her head and gesturing for Tooru to accompany Iwaizumi’s father.

His visit was short. Iwaizumi-san looked worriedly down at his son, brushing his sweat slicked hair away from his face. “You’ll phone me if he gets worse won’t you?”

“Yes,” Tooru answered, standing awkwardly out in the hall. He didn’t want to intrude.

After a good twenty minutes Iwaizumi-san finally left. Tooru decided to have a bath, wanting to relax for bit. He returned to sitting on the floor near the bed. Iwaizumi reached for his hand, though his eyes were barely open. Tooru entwined their fingers. When he began to drift off himself Tooru realised it was getting late. He needed to get the guest futon out.

When Tooru got up Iwaizumi felt it as their hands were still clasped together. Iwaizumi’s grip tightened immediately. “Mom, don’t leave.”

Tooru stopped. “Iwa-chan...”

Iwaizumi opened his eyes, the vestiges of delirium slipping away the more he blinked. Tooru watched silently while Iwaizumi regained his focus. “-kawa.” He still hadn’t released Tooru’s hand.

“I’m just going to get the futon, kay?”

“Bed.”

Tooru furrowed his brows. “W-what?”

“Bed,” Iwaizumi repeated a little stronger.

“Iwa-chan we can’t really...” Tooru’s exasperation petered off as he looked down at Iwaizumi. He looked so sad, so small and fragile beneath the blankets. Tooru sighed, clambering into the bed as best as he could.

Near instantly Iwaizumi burrowed into him, his face hidden. After Tooru turned off the light thinking Iwaizumi had fallen asleep he heard a murmur against his chest. He hadn’t quite caught what Iwaizumi said however. “Iwa-chan?”

“You’re gonna leave too.”

Tooru’s face slackened, feeling as though all the wind had been knocked out of him. He swallowed the lump in his throat. “What? No I’m not,” he croaked out.

“You will,” Iwaizumi said, adamant. Tooru squeezed him tighter, resting his chin atop Iwaizumi’s head.

“Why would I leave?”

“‘Cause I’m not enough,” Iwaizumi slurred, clutching tightly at the back of Tooru’s shirt.

Tooru shook his head, attempting to refute the claim. “That’s not true at all,” he insisted, about to say more but when he pulled back slightly to look at Iwaizumi he found that he had drifted back to sleep. It was hard to see with only the small crack of moonlight through the curtain but there were wet trails along Iwaizumi’s cheeks. Tooru closed his eyes and hugged him tighter, falling into an uneasy slumber.

~0~

After practice Tooru checked that he had collected all of Iwaizumi’s homework. Satisfied, he nodded to himself and headed home. When he arrived Iwaizumi’s shoes were no longer in the genken. He frowned. Granted Iwaizumi had been doing much better the past couple of days. He was even eating fuller meals again. Still, was he really fit to go home?

Tooru’s mother came out to greet him. “Did Iwa-chan go home?”

She nodded. “Yes, I caught him changing your bedding this morning, fully dressed. His dad is done tonight so I drove him home in the afternoon.

“Oh.” Tooru shuffled awkwardly, fidgeting with his bag. “Um, well I’m going to bring him his homework then,” he said. His mom eyed him with a knowing glint in her eye. He dug out Iwaizumi’s homework from his bag and set out on his way.

Iwaizumi-san’s car was home when Tooru arrived. Relief spread through his body. Further amplified when said man answered the door. He accepted the homework graciously from Tooru. “Ah, thank-you very much.”

Tooru shook his head. “It’s nothing. Um, well I’ll stop by tomorrow to bring him some more.” He gave Iwaizumi-san a short wave before going back home.

True to his word, he indeed brought Iwaizumi more work the next day. However this time he went straight to Iwaizumi’s house after practice instead of stopping at home first. Tooru also asked to bring the work to Iwaizumi himself.

“Ne, Iwa-chan.” Tooru knocked on the door to Iwaizumi’s bedroom before he stepped inside. Iwaizumi was sitting up in his bed, papers spread out as he did his homework. “You’re looking better,” Tooru said, placing the new stack next to Iwaizumi.

“Hn? Oh, yeah. Feel better. I should be able to get back to school soon,” Iwaizumi said, smiling a little. “Thanks.” He nodded toward the homework.

Tooru waved his hand dismissively. He plopped down, deciding to stay and do some of his own homework for awhile. When he caught Iwaizumi dozing off Tooru insisted on packing everything away.

“Good night, Iwa-chan,” Tooru said quietly, turning Iwaizumi’s light off. He’d fallen asleep while Tooru removed everything from the bed.

Iwaizumi returned to school the following week. Coach kept him on light practice for the first couple of days not wanting him to overexert himself too soon. The team’s spirits had risen with his return.

After several welcome back messages practice resumed as usual. It really was nice to have Iwaizumi back. While Tooru sent a serve over the net, he stopped to smile when he caught Iwaizumi receiving a spike from one of their seniors.

He would have to wait until he could get Iwaizumi to practice with his serves and tosses again though. Tooru couldn’t wait.


	8. High School: Year Three

Grabbing his bento from his locker Tooru settled down in his seat. Matsukawa and Hanamaki came in, joining him. The pulled up a desk each. “Iwaizumi not here yet,” Hanamaki asked, untying the cloth wrapped around his own bento.

“Oh.” Tooru frowned. “No.”

Matsukawa arched an eyebrow. “You two have a fight or something?”

“No.” Tooru wrinkled his nose, sticking it into the air. “Just, we didn’t meet up this morning. He didn’t answer my texts either when I asked where he was.”

Yuda walked past Tooru’s classroom. They all called out to him since he shared to same class as their missing friend. “Yo, Yuda.” Yuda stepped into the classroom, smiling warmly. “Iwaizumi in class,” Matsukawa asked. Yuda furrowed his brows, shaking his head.

Matsukawa and Hanamaki turned their gaze back to Tooru. “Well, I’m sure it’s fine,” Tooru said, his voice pitching higher than it normally did.

Lunch became subdued. The others had tried messaging Iwaizumi too but they also received no response. “Maybe he’s sick? Remember last year he missed a whole week,” Matsukawa mused, picking up a piece of daikon with his chopsticks.

“He seemed fine yesterday though,” Tooru said, sinking his teeth into his lower lip.

They were cut off from further wonderment by the bell ringing. Tooru fired off another text before the teacher entered the classroom and called for order.

By the time practice rolled around he had yet to hear from Iwaizumi. The others faced similar luck. “Well, you’re gonna go to his house after practice right,” Hanamaki asked, finishing his stretches.

“Eh? Well I wasn’t going to but...” Tooru’s brows slanted downwards.

“I think you should,” Yuda said. “It’s a bit odd that he hasn’t answered _any_ of our texts.”

Tooru nodded. “Well, I guess.” He conceded into going to check on Iwaizumi. It wasn’t that he wasn’t worried, but Iwaizumi could get frustratingly stubborn at times and would shut everyone out. Even him.

Once practice finished and there was still no response from Iwaizumi, Tooru’s decision cemented. He veered from the path to his house to Iwaizumi’s instead. The house was suspiciously dark. Perhaps Iwaizumi really was sick again?

Despite knocking for several minutes no one came to answer the door. Tooru sighed, rifling around for his keyring. Thankfully he insisted on them giving each other keys years ago. When he stepped inside it was eerily quiet.

He padded his way to Iwaizumi’s room. The lights were off there too but Tooru could still make out a familiar lump on the bed. “Iwa-chan~!” Tooru called, turning on the light. Iwaizumi didn’t respond. This did little to deter Tooru. Instead he waltzed over to the bed, sitting down and poking at the lump. However there was still no response. “Iwa-chan,” he tried again, shaking the blanket blob this time.

“Go away.” Iwaizumi’s voice was muffled, but otherwise provided no signal to him being ill. Tooru huffed, attempting to pull the blanket away. “I said go away,” Iwaizumi grunted, pulling the blanket even tighter around himself.

“You know I won’t,” Tooru said easily. He continued to prod at Iwaizumi, finally managing to pull the blanket away somewhat. Only the top of Iwaizumi’s face was revealed, but it was enough. Tooru inspected him as best as he could, taking note of the puffy, bloodshot eyes and red nose. “Iwa-chan...” Iwaizumi remained silent. “You didn’t come to school.”

Iwaizumi sighed, finally moving to sit up. He quickly curled in on himself though, hiding his face in his arms that rested over his knees. “I met with my mom.”

That was the last thing Tooru expected him to say, though admittedly he was unsure of what his expectations were. Still, with the state Iwaizumi was in it was clear that the meeting had not gone well. “I take it that things went poorly?”

Tooru frowned as Iwaizumi laughed derisively. He went quiet for a moment before he lifted his head, allowing for Tooru to see his face again. “You know she said she wasn’t cut out for the family life.”

“Iwa-chan?”

“It was just me she didn’t want,” Iwaizumi choked out, his expression pained, forcing him to hide his face again.

“I-Iwa-chan!” Tooru lurched forward, attempting to get closer.

Iwaizumi’s voice turned passive again, like he was giving a school report. He turned slightly to look at Tooru from the corner of his eye. “She wasn’t alone. Her new husband was there and... and her daughter.” Iwaizumi clenched his hands into fists. “She’s turning 10 soon.”

Tooru frowned, unsure of what he should do, if he could even do anything. He remained frozen in place.

“That’s five more years she stayed with her you know...”

“Iwa-chan, that’s not... don’t...”

“I’m so stupid. I thought —I thought she wanted to make amends,” Iwaizumi croaked.

It felt as though all the breath had been knocked out of him. Tooru’s stomach dropped uncomfortably, dread filtering through his body. He swallowed the lump that lodged in his throat. “T-that’s not what she wanted to meet for?”

Tooru’s frowned deepened when Iwaizumi shook his head. He shifted closer, resting his hand over Iwaizumi’s back, feeling trembles rock against it. “Her daughter is sick.”

“Don’t tell me...”

“She needs a donor,” Iwaizumi mumbled. His fists unfurled. One hand moved to pick at the lint littering his blanket. “I guess we share the same blood type or something.”

“What?!” Tooru squawked. “She’s asking you now?” He flailed his arms around, accidentally hitting Iwaizumi in the process.

Iwaizumi wrinkled his nose. “Yeah, we kinda got into it after that.” He flicked a piece of lint, sending it to sail off the bed. “I told her that I couldn’t just put my life on hold and that it’s nearly time for graduation.” His lips curled into a scowl. “We caused a scene in the restaurant. There were a lot angry stares, mostly at me.” He huffed out a humourless laugh. “Especially when she tried to guilt me into it, talking about familial duties and all that rubbish.”

Tooru looked on, completely appalled on Iwaizumi’s behalf. His nostrils flared in anger. He held himself back from interrupting Iwaizumi though, afraid that he might stop speaking otherwise.

“That’s when I’d had enough and got up from the table. I told her she gave up her right to familial duties when she left. That’s when I left the restaurant.” Iwaizumi finished robotically.

“Well good,” Tooru replied, indignant with barely restrained rage. He wrapped his arms around Iwaizumi instead, pulling him into a hug. They stayed like that until Iwaizumi fell asleep. When Iwaizumi’s father returned home Tooru told him that Iwaizumi simply fell asleep while they were doing homework. He was positive that Iwaizumi had kept everything to himself until now.

When he got home he tossed and turned for most of the night, still enraged for his friend.

~0~

Tooru was at Iwaizumi’s, studying. Or rather Iwaizumi was studying and Tooru read Volleyball Monthly. “You should study too you know,” Iwaizumi said, turning to frown sternly at him.

“Eh, it’s fine.” Tooru waved his hand, not bothering to look up from his magazine. Iwaizumi huffed, annoyed but backed off and returned to his own work.

When Tooru was nearly to the end of the magazine someone knocked at the door. Iwaizumi, so entrenched within his textbooks hadn’t noticed. Tooru coughed. Still nothing. He prodded Iwaizumi next. “Tch, what,” Iwaizumi snapped, slapping Tooru’s hand away. He blinked at the sound of another knock, frowning as he got up. Tooru followed him as he went to go answer.

Tooru didn’t recognise the man who stood on the other side of the door. He was dressed sharply, his suit crisp and unwrinkled. “Ah, Chibana-san,” Iwaizumi said flatly. His hand clenched tightly over the door, putting Tooru on edge instantly.

“Uh, yes. I hope you’ll forgive me for coming to your house uninvited Iwaizumi-kun.” Despite his calm voice there was a strange air of urgency surrounding him. Chibana glanced to Tooru before he looked back to Iwaizumi. “I realise this must be a bit...” He sighed, shaking his head and continuing. “You see, there was something that wasn’t brought up over our... er, dinner the other night.” At once Tooru knew who Chibana must be: the new husband of his mother. He tugged on Iwaizumi’s hand that was hanging idly at his side.

“Iwa-chan come on.”

Chibana’s eyes widened in panic. “Please wait! I just, w-we are willing to pay,” he said in a rush, one foot stepping forward. This only caused for Tooru to pull more insistently at Iwaizumi’s hand. “You mentioned you were going to university right?”

Tooru narrowed his eyes, nostrils flaring as he bristled at the man. “Iwa-chan needs to study! _Because_ he _is_ going to university. That means there are entrance exams! Not to mention he’s an athlete. Iwa-chan, just close the door.” Tooru stepped forward, blocking Iwaizumi from view. “You have some nerve coming here and trying to bribe him! What good is money if he’ll miss the exams!”

“Oikawa,” Iwaizumi said, his voice stern. Tooru’s mouth snapped shut, quelling his tirade for the moment. He turned to look back at Iwaizumi. He couldn’t get a proper read on him, his expression was placid. “I’m sorry Chibana-san but he’s right, this is a really critical time for me.” Iwaizumi inclined his head politely, closing the door on the man, cutting off whatever else he tried to say.

Iwaizumi trudged slowly back to his room. Instead of sitting at his desk like he had been previously, he collapsed onto his bed face first. Tooru sat down beside him, hesitantly reaching out to rub as his back. It was a while before Iwaizumi sat up again. He drew up one of his knees to his chest, hiding his face behind it. “I’m not wrong for refusing am I? I’m not a horrible person?” He asked quietly, sounding much too small.

“What? No! Of course not!” Tooru leaned forward, emphatic with his point.

“It’s not the girl’s fault...” Iwaizumi picked at the lint on his sock.

“Hajime!” Tooru sighed, exasperated. “It doesn’t mean you have any responsibility towards her. She’s a stranger. You can’t... you can’t do this to yourself.”

“Then why do I feel like I’m doing the wrong thing?” Iwaizumi lifted his head slightly, peering over his knee at Tooru. His expression nearly broke Tooru’s heart in half.

“Because Iwa-chan cares too much about everyone else.” Tooru shifted, grabbing Iwaizumi’s hands. He pulled him into a hug. “You’re an amazing person, but you don’t owe her anything, or her daughter or-or her husband! You don’t.”

Nearly an hour went by before Iwaizumi properly relaxed into Tooru’s arms. He pushed himself away when his dad returned home from work. Tooru noticed that Iwaizumi’s eyes were bloodshot and puffy, but his cheeks were blessedly free from tear tracks. Before they could get up off the bed Iwaizumi’s father stepped into the room. “Hey, I picked up something for dinner. Oh, Tooru-kun, you’re here too. Well, there should be enough,” he said smiling warmly.

Iwaizumi nodded, getting up to trail after his father to the kitchen. While they all piled food onto their plates Tooru watched Iwaizumi’s father as he sent continuous glances toward his son. His brows furrowing deeper as the seconds ticked by.

They sat at the table, saying thanks for the meal and dug in. Or rather Tooru and Iwaizumi’s father did. Iwaizumi picked at his food, taking one bite for every four of theirs. His dad frowned, placing his chopsticks down lightly. “Okay what’s wrong?”

“What?” Iwaizumi flicked his eyes up toward his dad. “Nothing.” He turned back to his food, picking up a piece of tofu and chewing much more gracefully than he usually did.

“Yes, I can tell,” his father said blithely. “Really Hajime, what is it? Don’t think I won’t ask Tooru.”

Iwaizumi’s gaze flickered over to Tooru, glaring slightly. He sighed, placing his chopsticks down too. His father waited expectantly. Iwaizumi licked his lips, stalling. “I... I met with... mom.”

Instantly his father’s eyes skyrocketed into his hair. It took awhile, but Iwaizumi managed to explain everything with Tooru filling in the parts that happened just before his father got home. His dad seemed a bit hurt at being kept in the dark, but his expression quickly cleared when he took a proper look at his son, finding him broken. He pulled Iwaizumi’s head to rest on his shoulder. “Oh, Hajime.”

Realising that they needed time alone, Tooru excused himself. He retrieved his things from Iwaizumi’s room, leaving a note for him before he left for his own house.

~0~

Walking down the school hallway, Tooru hummed to himself. He paused to look in Iwaizumi’s classroom, not finding him there. It wasn’t unusual. Often this meant that Iwaizumi was likely waiting for him elsewhere. Tooru stopped to talk to a classmate before he rounded the corner of the corridor. He came to a sudden halt, narrowing his eyes. His lips curled in distaste. Several wary looks were sent his way but he ignored them, stomping his way over to Iwaizumi.

Chibana was standing with Iwaizumi. A slightly frail looking girl was at his side, she could only be his daughter. They were certainly pulling out all the stops. Tooru’s nose scrunched up as he slid easily into place next to Iwaizumi. “Do you have a visitor’s pass,” Tooru asked, looking down his nose at Chibana.

“Er, what?”

“A visitor’s pass,” Tooru said again flatly. “You need one to be on school grounds.” Chibana frowned, shifting slightly. Tooru clicked his tongue. “You aren’t wearing the badge.” He pointed out.

Iwaizumi stepped forward. “It’s fine. Classes are over anyway,” he said, placing a hand over Tooru’s shoulder.

“Ah, right. Well I can drive you home.” Chibana offered. “Then perhaps we could speak some more.” He glanced at Tooru, pursing his lips.

“Iwa-chan doesn’t need a ride.” Tooru smiled sharply, feigning politeness. He turned to steer Iwaizumi away. “We always walk home together and we don’t need a ride. So we’ll be going now.” His eyes turned cold, sneering at Chibana. “Besides you should really be letting your daughter rest don’t you think,” he finished icily, tugging Iwaizumi away from the nuisance.

When they were well out of earshot Tooru went off. “Can you believe their nerve?! Coming to our school like that and bringing the kid no less. Terrible!”

“Right,” Iwaizumi mumbled, pushing the door to step outside. Tooru followed after him, still in the midst of his rant. Iwaizumi offered him only unenthused grunts here and there.

“It’s not like you owe her anything,” Tooru continued, huffing indignantly.

Before he could carry on Iwaizumi cut him off. “I know, Oikawa!” He sighed, frustrated. He ran a hand through his hair.

“Whoa, what’s with all the yelling?” Hanamaki suddenly appeared at their side, his eyebrows raised.

“Deciding whose feet smell the worst,” Matsukawa asked, popping up on the other side.

Iwaizumi scowled, pushing his way past all three of them. Matsukawa and Hanamaki turned to Tooru, genuine surprise written over their faces. Tooru’s mouth twisted back into an angry frown while he regaled his friends with what happened in the hallway. They caught up to Iwaizumi just as Tooru finished the update.

“That’s terrible,” Matsukawa said.

“You said no right,” Hanamaki asked, glancing to Iwaizumi who simply nodded. His expression was still gloomy and unapproachable.

Reading Iwaizumi’s mood, everyone dropped the subject for the time being. Instead they rambled about their classes and how near the exams were, making note of how they were on the cusp of graduation. Eventually Matsukawa and Hanamaki broke off for their own streets. They waved to Iwaizumi and Tooru. The former barely even registered their parting.

Tooru chanced a glance at Iwaizumi. His brows furrowed with concern. They were nearly home. Iwaizumi’s aggrieved expression signalled he was stewing in his own thoughts. Tooru sighed. “Ugh, I can’t believe it. You’re still thinking about doing it aren’t you?”

Iwaizumi scowled, turning his face away from Tooru, purposely not looking at him. “Hajime!” Tooru cried, flailing his arms slightly. “We have exams! University!” He moved to step in front of Iwaizumi, blocking his way. “You can’t just put your life on hold.”

“I know all that! You don’t need to tell me,” Iwaizumi snapped, looking up and glaring harshly at Tooru.

“Obviously I do,” Tooru said, moving again as Iwaizumi tried to push past him.

“Ugh,” Iwaizumi relented, his shoulders slumping, “You don’t understand.”

“Then tell me,” Tooru said, his voice softer, more gentle.

Iwaizumi looked away. His face scrunched up in a pained grimace. He ran an agitated hand through his hair, making a mess of it. When he spoke his voice was small and watery, croaking more as the words spilled out of him. “Because... because there’s still a part of me that thinks— that thinks if I do this then she’ll want me.”

“Hajime...” Tooru reached out, placing a hand over Iwaizumi’s shoulder.

“I know!” Iwaizumi’s arms went up, knocking Tooru’s hand away. “I _know_ it’s irrational and stupid.” His arms arm fell limply back to his sides. “She’s made it clear that I’m not important. Th-that I mean nothing to her and that I’m not...” Iwaizumi choked up. His body began to tremble. He appeared to be on the verge of crumbling into pieces right there on the sidewalk.

Tooru pulled him into a hug.” You shouldn’t have to do this.” Iwaizumi nodded against him, his hands raising to clutch at Tooru’s back. “She’s still just as selfish as she’s always been Hajime. It’s obvious with how she’s asking you to do this instead of doing it herself.”

“I-I know.”

They stay held together for a few more moments, Tooru was too afraid to let go. He didn’t want his friend to shatter in front of him. He rubbed Iwaizumi’s back soothingly, finally pulling away slightly. “Come on,” Tooru said softly, “Nii-chan is visiting today.”

Tooru slid his hand down, grabbing Iwaizumi’s and squeezed it tightly. He lead them to his house. When they arrived only Tooru greeted the household at large. Iwaizumi wasn’t quite ready to face people. Tooru followed behind him as he headed for his bedroom. They both deposited their bags onto the floor. He watched Iwaizumi sit down on the bed, diminished, before he fell back onto the bed completely. Tooru moved to sit on the bed too. Iwaizumi curled into himself, his eyes clenching closed.

Tears began to streak down across Iwaizumi’s face. Tooru lifted his hand to run a consoling hand through his hair. He leaned down, resting his head in the crook between Iwaizumi’s shoulder and neck. Iwaizumi meanwhile clutched at the front of his sweater. “You’re amazing Iwa-chan,” Tooru murmured quietly, his lips brushing against skin. “You’re definitely the best person I know. You’ve _always_ been enough. It’s not your loss, okay? It’s _hers_. I promise it is,” he finished, closing his eyes too.

Eventually Iwaizumi let go, pushing himself up and away. He rubbed at his face before looking at Tooru. “Thanks.” His smile was small, still sad, but Tooru could make out the sincerity of it. “Um... I’m ready to go down and meet everyone,” Iwaizumi said. “Uh, after I wash my face anyway.” He huffed a short depreciative laugh. Tooru nodded and got up, allowing Iwaizumi to get up off the bed.

Iwaizumi took off his blazer, dropping it over his bag. He left to go wash his face. Tooru waited for him, sitting down on his bed. He took off his own blazer. When Iwaizumi returned he was loosening his tie and lifted it over his head. He placed it with his other things. Tooru stood up and clapped a hand over his shoulder, squeezing it once before leading them down to the living room.

No one mentioned the fact that Iwaizumi had clearly been crying. They eased him into the conversations, not wanting to overwhelm him. Soon he was laughing along with everyone else when Takeo finished his work anecdote. Tooru smiled fondly, pleased that Iwaizumi’s mood had lightened enough to allow for laughter. He snuck his hand over to Iwaizumi’s who was seated beside him, linking their pinkies together. Iwaizumi blinked, turning to look at Tooru for a moment. He smiled at him. His eyes twinkled with something Tooru couldn’t name. Instead he smiled back before they both turned their attention back to the conversation at hand.


	9. A New Beginning

Hajime adjusted his umbrella while he sidestepped a puddle that stretched across the sidewalk. He was on his way to meet with Oikawa. Their chosen destination: a cafe that rested between both of their universities. It was within in his line of sight. He just needed to cross the street. When he reached the crosswalk he bustled across with the rest of the crowd.

Once he stepped into the cafe Hajime deposited his umbrella in the designated rack meant for the cafe’s patrons. He shook off the rain from his coat, looking around and not finding Oikawa. After rolling his eyes he decided to find a table and wait for him.

He pulled out his phone. It seemed he was 15 minutes early. Sighing, he skimmed through the notes he’d made early on one of his apps. When someone came to ask if he wanted anything he requested a cup of tea. Surely Oikawa would arrive soon. He gave his thanks when his tea was placed down on the table. Just as he was about to fire off a text to Oikawa, someone called out to him.

“Hajime?” The voice of his mother, quiet, tentative and perhaps slightly disbelieving. Hajime looked up, frowning and furrowing his brows. He wanted to leave.

“Mom...” His fists clenched at his sides, his tea forgotten.

“May I... sit down,” She asked, holding back, ready to leave if asked. He looked around again, hoping to find Oikawa but found nothing. Hajime nodded, tensing as she pulled the chair to take a seat across from him. She gave him a nervous smile. Hajime was unable to return it. “You’re looking well,” she said after a tense moment of silence. “Going to university here then?”

“Yeah.” Hajime’s voice cracked, forcing him to reach for his forgotten cup of tea. His hands were sweating but he felt cold. The urge to leave intensified. He drummed his fingers over the table, bouncing his leg.

“That’s nice. Good, I mean.” His mother looked down at the table. It seemed as though she was searching for the proper words to say. “Mariko loved the godzilla plush you sent. Thank-you for that and... and for the card.”

A lump formed in Hajime’s throat. He nodded, looking properly at her. She was slightly frail, her wrist more bony than before. “So uh... you’re both doing okay then?”

She nodded, smiling a little. “Yes, the recovery was a little trying for all of us I think but we got through it. Mariko is already back to school.”

“Oh... um, that’s good,” Hajime said, glancing around again.

The air grew tense and quiet once more amongst their table despite the otherwise busy cafe. Hajime shifted in his seat. “Hajime.” He looked up across to his mother. “I... wanted to apologize, for... for before. It wasn’t fair of me to ask for something so big from you, or... or anything really.”

Hajime sucked in a sharp breath of air. He couldn’t speak.

“I... I was afraid... and selfish,” she said; her expression filled with sorrow and regret. “I knew I was a match, and yet, I hesitated.”

“Well,” Hajime swallowed the lump in his throat, “you did it in the end. That’s what matters.”

His mother nodded, pursing her lips. “Right.”

Something niggled at Hajime. Despite whatever hesitation his mother may have felt, she did in the end give up a part of herself for her daughter. She loved her, cared for her in a way that Hajime could only long to know. Before he could stop himself, the words spilled out of his mouth. “Would you have done the same for me?”

He watched as her eyes widened in surprise, then slowly shifted, the answer written all over her face. _No, she wouldn’t_. “Yeah, that’s what I figured.” Hajime smiled ruefully. His hands began to tremble. He pulled them off the table, hiding them, not willing to show her how much she affected him.

“I’m sorry.” While she meant it, the answer did not change. Hajime’s throat tightened again. He knew it was a stupid question to ask, knew the answer even, and yet it still came out, unbidden. The answer left him crushed, despite his inkling, but somehow, strangely he also felt as though something heavy had been lifted from his shoulders.

While his eyes were watery, he didn’t allow for the tears to fall. He looked at his mother, giving her the best smile he could manage. “It’s all right, mom.”

“No, it’s really not,” she said, voice mournful and honest. Hajime held back a sob. It was getting harder to hold back the tears. His mother stood, moving to leave. She stopped to place a hand over his shoulder, squeezing for a moment. “Sorry,” she said again, and then she was gone. Just like before. Just like she had always been.

Hajime lowered his head, burrowing it into his hand that was propped up by his elbow. He sighed. “You better get your ass over here.”

Oikawa squawked from a nearby table, flailing a little as he scrambled to join Hajime at his table. “A-are you... no um...” His question was left aborted, though Hajime knew what he was about to ask anyway.

“I’m...” Hajime couldn’t say it. He wasn’t fine. His mother was never going to love him the way he wanted her to, if she did it all. It didn’t matter, the things he did or thought of doing, or even would do. Nothing would change. It was always going to be the same between him and his mother. _Ah, that was the heavy thing that was lifted from him earlier_. Realisation. Acceptance.

No, he wasn’t fine. Not even close. But, he would be. He looked up across the table to find Oikawa staring back at him. Oikawa smiled, reaching his hand across and wriggling his fingers. Hajime took the hint, lifting his hand back onto the table and entwined their fingers. Oikawa squeezed his hand, patient and comforting. His tears were silent as they finally spilled from his eyes but with Oikawa there, and his father back at home, and everyone else he knew that cared about him, a new strength began to form within Hajime.

He was going to be okay. Of that Hajime was sure. He squeezed Oikawa’s hand back, managing to return his smile even as tears continued to slide down his face. The binds that ensnared him released. He was free to move on, to _heal_.

Yeah, he was going to be just fine.


End file.
